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or they blame the other person for not “making them happy”… It’s incredibly painful to believe that someone else could be responsible for your emotions or that you could possibly be responsible for their emotions.
It’s painful because it’s a belief that something that is impossible is could be possible…
(Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I won’t completely cut a girl off, but I definitely won’t discuss anything along a relationship conversational thread.) This could be for a few reasons.
In the case where you dumped the guy, one common reason is that the guy doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to deal with his grief over the breakup and he doesn’t want to “deal with himself.” When he jumps into another relationship, he can get a dose of external female validation and derive a feeling of false sense of self-esteem and self-worth from her positive attention.
It has its cost though and eventually devolves into a crippling neediness.
That is to say, he seeks his feeling of validation and worth from how a woman treats him.
I don’t think it’s that guys don’t want to deal with the breakup…Again, all this was said in the context of if they guy was the one who was dumped. I hate to say it, but this is usually a case where the guy wasn’t feeling happy with the relationship for a while and when another opportunity came along, he jumped ship. I don’t have much to say about it, other than that it sucks and that your best move is to move on, get back out there and date new people. It has nothing to do with you, you don’t need to understand, you don’t need closure.Move on immediately, you’ll save yourself a whole lot of time and heartache.” MORE: Ask a Guy: How Can I Avoid Being the Rebound?they break the chain of seeking a sense of OK-ness externally.For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…