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My hormone levels had clearly dropped off, and I hadn’t been feeling as sexually … (MORE: The New Midlife Dating Question: What's Your Credit Score?

) A New Set of Dating Requirements Because I'm no longer a raging hormonal machine (in either the pre- or menopausal way), my rational mind has a much larger say in my choice of a partner than in my past.

She stresses that women need to discuss their unique risk profiles with their medical practitioner.

Casting Sam in a New Light Armed with new information and ideas, and comforted by the reminder that a romantic involvement doesn’t have to lead to marriage or a “financial entanglement,” I felt free to ponder some decisions about my burgeoning relationship.

“You can do a commitment ceremony and not enmesh one another financially.

We have a lot of power, and we are not as afraid as when we were younger.” Understanding that what I’d been experiencing was a natural evolutionary state gave me a greater sense of control and reminded me that I have a lot of options.

Now that I’ve reached the age where I can start withdrawing from my Roth IRA (59½), and ever since the cost of my health insurance jumped 26 percent, I've found that what turns me on is a man who is not only honest, intelligent, fun, thoughtful and sexually attractive but also one who has health insurance, a good retirement plan and a steady income.

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(MORE: Deeper Dating: A New Approach to Finding Love) About halfway through the meal, my insecurities kicked in big-time. ” Obviously these were not words I was planning to say out loud, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit this was something that was very much on my mind. “Sam, I really like you, but I am scared to death about making love with you.

Kumar said that for her many patients in this same boat, she prescribes bio-identical hormones or Estriol cream, but she advises against the much stronger estrogen creams, like Estrace and Estrodial, which can increase risk of breast and uterine cancers, as noted in the landmark Women’s Health Initiative study.

A bonus of supplemental estrogen is that it can also boost libido.

But there was one subject I still needed to address: my fears about the state of things “down there.” Would it be like riding a bike — or was I in for a rude awakening?

“A lot of women have not been prepared for what’s happening to their body in menopause,” she said.

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